i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
