please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
