Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
