And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
