TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
