part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
