I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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