All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize