but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
