I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
