I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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