What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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