Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
