I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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