She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
