My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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