No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
3 2 1 whiskey
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
