You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
