if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
