i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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