i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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