I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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