Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
