my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
