It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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