yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
