I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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