Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
