remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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