Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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