Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
