Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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