Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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