it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
