For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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