Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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