everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
