Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i came on her dog
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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