dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
