I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
