Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
