Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
