She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
