He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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