it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
