everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
