Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
