Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
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I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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