So gin and wine won't be happening again
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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