Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
