I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
