Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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