Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
BRING THE BAGELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize