Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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