Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
