if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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