wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize