from now on my penis is your penis
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize