I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
