Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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